[ PT. 2 ] What Really Matters - How Far Can You Go?
Christine Marote is the SheUp August ‘Woman of the Month!’ She moved to Shanghai in January of 2009 after traveling for four years from São Paulo, Brazil to Chang Chun in China’s Jilin province. After starting her blog, China Na Minha Vida (China In My Life), she found her passion for writing and researching Chinese culture. With a background in education, she is also a two-time published author and advisor for people and companies coming to China.
Read the second part of her article “What Really Matters - How Far Can You Go?”
The grueling stages of transformation
In January of 2009, we left Brazil behind and landed on Chinese soil – going from summertime weather of 40 degrees to 5 degrees below zero in less than 48 hours. At the beginning of our journey, we were excited and scared of all of the new possibilities. Everything was new and different; the language scared and entertained us at the same time; we laughed and cried; but most importantly, we were together. After the first month when the house was finished, the kids were in school and the husband was happy (after all, the whole family was reunited), I found myself alone in a weird place. I barely spoke English (not that it would help me much) and had absolutely no knowledge of the Chinese language. I didn’t have friends or references and felt a huge gap in my chest.
What was I supposed to do during the day? How can I create a routine without any form of schedule, errands, or a job? Not having a job was never part of my life’s plan and goals. Nothing made sense and nothing seemed to fit – where should I start?
There were many mornings when I sat alone on the steps of the stairs watching everyone carry out their routine. I cried and asked myself, “What now?” Although it felt painful and I felt like I was suffering, I realized life goes on and we can’t drop the ball. I began writing an email to my family and friends in Brazil telling them a bit about my new life. Many people asked me to share these stories on a blog since they were fun and interesting to read. I initially thought, “How can I? Me? Writing stories for the world to read – especially people I don’t know? Who would even enjoy reading what I have to say?” I wrote and erased multiple drafts of blog posts. I initially decided blogging was not for me.
The overall tone of my initial articles was sad and melancholic. They didn’t portray an accurate depiction of my life outlook. Early in life, I have learned to see things positively and I always look for the positives in complicated situations. At that time, even though my writings appeared to be written in a neutral tone, I was having a hard time convincing myself that everything would be okay. With many bumps along the way, we survived our first year in China. We successfully juggled the day-to-day challenges and overcame language and cultural barriers. Our teenagers adapted to this significant lifestyle change and couldn’t believe this adventure was their real life. It took us almost two years for us to visit Brazil after moving to China. Our return to our home country felt like a huge party. To make things easier for us, my family hosted a reunion inviting all of the people who were a part of our lives before the move. To this day, I feel this reunion was the best gift I have ever received. The reunion helped me realize that the essential components of my life in Brazil were not lost. Actually, it is quite the opposite – the love, friendship and emotional connections with loved ones were still there. The biggest milestone I reached while reinventing myself was the energy I felt in that room.
The biggest milestone I reached while reinventing myself was the energy I felt in that room.
I came back to China feeling as light as a feather and happy. I realized that undergoing challenging experiences add to our life story and growth as individuals. After returning to China, I decided to write about the discoveries I had made, the adventures I planned to do, and most importantly, unveil the secrets of China to my circle of curious friends and family members.
How far can you go?
During my transition as a consumer to the provider of information, I was initially taken aback by the number of messages I received due to my ignorance regarding the reach of the internet. This bothered me since I started the blog on a free platform without any pretense. I felt the website layout didn’t truly reflect me and was almost as if I was showing the world my drafting board. I started reviewing different options of website layouts, hired a graphic designer to create an image for my blog, and began to rethink the purpose of my virtual “life in China diary.”
I had to learn English before Chinese to communicate with the social circle we were a part of, international schools, and hospitals. After feeling more confident with the language, I decided to challenge myself by enrolling in an MBA program to study the subject that has become my life objective: Chinese culture. As a result of this, I started giving lectures in Brazil - unraveling this culture that was so different from the western one. The blog started to grow and it served as a reference regarding Chinese culture in Portuguese. Without any academic pretense, I was able to show that Chinese people don’t eat dog meat (with a few caveats) and that their culture has a whole intriguing and passionate side. I discovered that other people enjoyed reading my texts and tagged along with me as I unveiled China.
I noticed that I was helping a lot of people overcome the initial shock of moving here; undergo the difficult adaptation process; and accept the challenge that is China in each of our lives. Each message cheered me on and inspired me not to give up. Yes, there were many times that I thought about giving up; thinking that there was no point in writing and that my blog wouldn’t go anywhere.
China is not forever
Unlike many different countries, China is not forever. They do not give you citizenship and you are only allowed to live in the country as long as you are tied to a work or student contract. Laws and regulations are becoming more restrictive with each passing day. This made us realize that our time here has come to an end. This realization made me feel that something was missing. I needed something concrete to materialize, which could convince me that I had done something with my life. I needed to feel that all of this change and reinvention of myself was not in vain. I achieved this with my book that shares what I have learned from the land of the dragon. Although my book is only the tip of the iceberg, it serves as my prize, trophy, and memoir. Beyond the published texts, no words can describe the meaning hidden between the lines and what our souls learn and share.
What really matters in our lives is our will to be reborn as many times as it’s necessary.
A clarification
The idea for this text didn’t come out of nowhere. It was written in 2019 and appears in “Coletânea Reedificações – Histórias de Mulheres que se reinventaram pelo mundo”, which showcases our inner strength that we often don’t know exists. Therefore, many women were brought together to share a few of their stories and how they overcame the adaptation process. They incentivize other women to find their path and themselves in a new reality. At the time of the book’s release in December of 2019, I had no idea how much the affirmation I chose to title this text would mean in our lives today. 2020 is making us reevaluate and rethink all of our values and priorities. We are also reinventing ourselves and pondering on what really matters in life!
Today we know a tight hug is worth more than a thousand well-wrapped gifts. Crying with happiness is indeed a form of gratitude.**
Written by Christine Marote
www.chinanaminhavida.com
Instagram: @chinanaminhavida